And another question: Mike Yaconelli writes, "I long for a life that explodes with meaning and is filled with adventure, wonder, risk, and danger."
Do you think life should be lived dangerously? What would a dangerous life look like for you?
If you could do something today that would epitomize that sense of wild abandon, what would it be? Would you quit your job? Plan a mission trip with friends? Get involved in inner city ministry? Take a weekend getaway with someone special? What would it be for you?
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I would quit my job, I would sell my house. I would downsize and simplify. I would go to a third world country and hope I could make a difference in someone's life. Or I would go to a mission school and work with children. I would keep pushing the envelope and continue questioning my theological assumptions. I'd love to motivate others to really think about their faith also, and not be so content with pat answers and a comfortable christianity. I'd love to be able to let go and just let God use me, not worrying about how others saw me, or what they thought of me. I'd allow myself to become more vulnerable and less afraid to love. And I'd be more willing to share my opinions.
That's a lot to work on. And probably every one of those things triggers a fear response in me.
But, in retrospect it used to be that I would say I would push legalistic boundaries. I would stick up for what I believed. I would challenge the status quo regarding my evangelical upbringing. I would challenge my belief system. I would question leaders and think for myself. And I would encourage my kids to do the same. I would leave my church. I did all that. I survived.
I think for me I would pick up my phone and let someone know I loved them. The person I have loved most in life is the person I have hurt the most because of my fear to truely love and be loved.
But then the rational side of me says, but after you tell him of your love he will say sorry it's too late. I have another girl friend and I'm happy with her.
Step two in wild abandon would be to go and fulfill my dream of bicycling across the country listening to the stories of people along the way. After that jaunt I think I would be ready to, having heard the stories of life, to fully dedicate my life to serving people.
But as I was reading Yaconelli's book I began to wonder, "I think I'm pretty good at this wild living but terrible at the disciplines." There is value in putting our desires aside and stick to the mundane and glorify God there. God is soveregn. To some he calls to a season of adventure and to some a season of repitition.
One dream / possibility is to quit computers and become a pastor. This leads to another idea I've been contemplating but haven't found realistic yet. That is to quit work and go back to a Bible college / seminary full time and truly devote myself to the classwork. I am not one that just likes to sit back and take notes. I think this would be a great way to truly dig in and explore what God has said to us all.
Another option I am toying with is going back to school to get a teaching certificate and then teach. I have generally always been good at helping others to understand things, so I know this is doable. I would like to do so in such a way to help encourage more kids to think truly for themselves and not just for the test.
I've also thought of running for some office as I am sick of the politics of public service. If I did this it would not be for a life career but for a few terms / offices. I have been thinking lately that public service should be offices that are rotated more often so more people can share the experience and to keep new blood / ideas being thrown into the mix.
I've actually been struggling with this a lot lately as I am starting to feel like I am lagging more and more each year. I am thinking that I will either be out of computers in five to ten years or I will be in a position where no growth is required as I am slowly not able to keep up. Part of this is due to the ever increasing speed and diversity in the computer field. Another part is my maintaining of other priorities, namely God and family.
Jen,
That's a great point. You're right that there is value in the disciplines of daily living as much as in the wild abandon. (Though paradoxically, sometimes it is the disciplines themselves that open us up to true freedom and adventure.)
At any rate, perhaps you should be experiencing a different book. Maybe Yaconelli isn't what you need right now. If you have the time, why not try Richard Foster's "Celebration of Discipline" or Dallas Willard's "Spirit of the Disciplines" or Tony Jones' "The Sacred Way". You might find something in them that is more of value to you right now.
If you want to borrow any of them from me, feel free.
-Mike
thanks Mike for the suggestions. I have read the Willard book a couple times actually (I really don't enjoy that reading as much as I do Dangerous wonder). I'll see about snagging one of the others just as soon as I finish reading the shaping of things to come.
Yeah, Dallas Willard can be a little dense at times.
LOL -
Dallas, or his book? ;)
I think that the word dangerously has bad connotations that go with it for me. Dangerous to me implies a high risk of getting hurt, in a bad way...but then again, maybe that's the point.
I'm not a 'dangerous' person...I hesitate to release this information to you all, but my nickname in many of life experiences has been 'mom'. I'm the one who stops the adventure and risk...
If I could pack up and leave for a week I would go visit my sister in Mexico and help her with her after school program. But, I've been there so I don't know how adventurous that could be considered...
I'm not sure that I have some 'big adventure' that I can say I'd like to do...I like to find adventure more on a small level, in my daily life. Which at camp is easy to do...a lot of things I do during work can be adventurous, to me at least. Things like mowing, or tightening the rope bridge then walking across, learning how to splice a rope...but then again at the same time these have the potential to become mundane.
Maybe I should start dreaming bigger.
hey April, lets go in a road trip with Kelsey. Do you ever get time off?
Ha, this is a funny question considering my life right now...
If i could do something today, I would quit Wheaton, travel around the country with soulforce being a straight ally standing alonside them as they are being opressed, and then start a theology/community psychology/sexuality program at Vanderbilt...
This is indeed what i may be planning to do, if i make it into equality ride. LIFE IS CRAZY.
I miss everyone at church, and I will see you all next week!
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